Many of you know that my Lolo and Lola have 3 children --- a boy and 2 girls --- Jed, Cutie and Dolly. Well, I wanted to share a little secret --- perhaps I should call it a Tiny secret --- with you. My Lola had 4 children: Jed, Cutie, Dolly and me. I came to live with my Lola and Lolo when I was very little, not more than a toddler, in fact. Everything they did and gave to their 3 children before me, I got too --- and then some. I had it all for a while since I got both the privileges of a child and the spoiling of a grandchild. Then of course, as any child would, I started getting naughty and the disciplining began. I never liked this part of growing up. My Lola would always give me the "big eyes" look, which I so detested, which I now find myself doing to little kids that misbehave at the grocery store or in church. My Lola also had all these little rules like, never walk around the house without slippers because you will get worms. I now do this, and people think I am crazy. I will never forget the many times she made me sit down at the dinner table for hours until I finished my food and when I didn't, she told me I would have to eat all the rice that I wasted when I got to heaven. To this day, I try to finish all the food on my plate even if my pants are busting at the seams. All of these things, I have gotten from my Lola, my mother for 25 years. It has been 3 years since I moved to Arizona. It seemed like a perfect time to gain my US citizenship --- I had finished college and had tried out the Philippine job market. It has been hard to be away from family and friends but my Lola encouraged me to be the best that I could be. She has believed in me from day one. I am now 25 and though I have been quite fortunate here and have excelled in all I have taken on over the last 3 years. Today, it is with great grief that I write this letter knowing that this is one thing I can never have or gain. I can no longer hug her one last time. It has been hard to be away from her for these years and even harder, now, to send her off without bidding her the farewell I had wanted. For all these years, she has cared for our entire family selflessly. She has provided us with everything she had had to offer. Whenever one of us would have challenges, she would take the weight off our shoulders. She has always suffered in silence and has always asked us to put everything in God's hands. I am now happy to know that on Monday, she was selfish for the first time. She has finally gone to join Lolo as she so desperately wanted. I rejoice that she is finally happy now. I am steadfast in knowing that all of us that have been left behind have been taught well and we will live and prosper as she wished.
Secretly
your daughter,
|
